No matter who wins this game the Bulldogs win. Georgia Bulldogs face off against the Fresno State Bulldogs in the College World Series. Two college teams with the same nickname are playing each other in the NCAA finals! How boring is that? The Bulldog is the third most common nickname of four-year colleges in the U.S., with thirty-nine schools being called the Bulldogs. It is only behind Eagles, and Tigers and followed by the Panthers, Knights and Bears. All of these nicknames are terribly boring, lack originality and represent over half of the universities in the country. I would rather be called the Purple Wiggles than be called the Bulldogs. The game is going to be awkward. Georgia fans are infamous for their barks. Now no one will know who is cheering for whom. There will be no Bulldog chants, barks, yelps or cheers. Fans can only cheer for individual players, or call the team by its university name. That is terrible. “Let’s Go Georgia” or “FSU” will be the only thing coming from the stands. I myself am a Tiger, and although Tiger is the coolest of these nicknames above, it is not unique. The high school I went to was called the Lancers and I enjoyed the nickname. The purpose of a nickname is to honor something unique to your university, city, or high school. I have researched the nicknames of universities all across the country and created a list of my favorite twenty-five. These nicknames are unique, comical, meaningful, and down right just awesome!

25) Hofstra Flying Dutchmen: One of my favorites, but they no longer are called the Flying Dutchmen. The undead pirate crew that reeks havoc on those at sea with Davy Jones as its captain. Scary!

24) Wake Forest Demon Deacons: An evil clerical official. Wake Forest is a Baptist University that has turned evil! The Deacons became demonic to improve their athletic skills, look at Chris Paul. He must have sold his soul to the devil to get those skills.

23) Furman University Paladins: The Paladins are on this list for the single reason that I had no idea what a Paladin really was until I looked it up. It is a high level official in the Holy Roman Empire, and later a high level official in the Catholic Church. It is exceptional nickname.

22) University of North Carolina Tar Heels: Wow a nickname that makes sense. Inhabitants of North Carolina are called Tar Heels. Therefore the university nickname is Tar Heels. Is there an extreme amount of Bulldogs native to Fresno or Georgia? No, point and case.

21) University of Texas El Paso Miners (UTEP): Another nickname that makes sense. The name is semi-lame, but their football coach comes into the stadium every game and drives an axe into the field! Got to love it. http://www.flickr.com/photos/20520708@N03/2569474634/

20) Georgetown Hoyas: Even though the actual mascot is a Bulldog, the students got creative in the 1920’s and used a Latin phrase to form the slogan “Hoya Saxc” or “What Rocks?” There also is a plant called a Hoya, but the university claims there is no connection. Hoya is better than just being called boring old bulldog!

19) University of Louisiana Lafayette Raging Cajuns: ULL got sick of being called the Bulldogs in the 1960’s and adopted the Raging Cajuns. Raging Cajuns not only sounds awesome, but also the etymology of the word Cajun, describes an ethnic group that originated in Louisiana. Very original, compelling and its suits the region.

18) Arkansas Tech Wonder Boys: This one is just plain funny. Only the men’s teams at Arkansas Tech are called Wonder Boys, but it still is quite, how do I say this, silly. I mean wonder boys. Wow. When I heard this one I immediately thought of Toby Maguire and the film. Wonder Boy is neither scary, intimidating, unique to Arkansas, nor representative of anything at all; but its comical value earns it a spot.

17) University of Idaho Vandals: Now here is a nickname. Vandals were Germanic tribesman infamous for the pillaging, destruction, rape and burglary. They were most known for their sack on Rome. Now here is a nickname that intimidates me. Why Vandals in Idaho? It doesn’t matter; at least they are not called The University of Idaho Potatoes, although it would be unique.

16) University of Maryland Terrapins: The turtle! It would never be my first thought when trying to come up with a nickname, but hats off to the University of Maryland. The turtle keeps it slow and steady, unlike the hare. It is quite amusing, but their success on the athletic playing fields proves the terrapins’ lifestyle works. Also the Grateful Dead reference, Terrapin Station, is enough to put the Terps on the list alone. Fear the Turtle!

15) Cansius Golden Griffins: The Griffin is one of the coolest creations in contemporary art and mythology. The head and wings of an eagle and the body of a lion. A griffin would make Simba crap his pants. Now making this dominant ridiculous creature gold, brings griffin to another level.

14) Saint Louis University Billikens: The Billiken is a figure of luck. The Billiken is a fat, Buddha like figure resembling a bearcat like figure. Teddy Roosevelt was called the Teddy Bear, while his successor William Taft was unfortunate enough to be called the Billiken because of his stout and plump stature. The most unique nickname on the list.

13) University of Southern California Trojans: I am not a USC fan: I grew up a baby-Bruin (Both parents went to UCLA). The Trojan is a name representing safety and security. The Trojan city was impenetrable, but wait. I have always found it ironic that condoms and USC are called Trojans. Don’t they understand the Trojans defense was not foolproof? The condom company must have decided on the name Trojan for legal reasons. Trojan lawyer, “We do not guarantee 100% effectiveness, just look at our name, The Trojans lost the war because the horse passed through their line of defense. Imagine the horse like a seaman, one little horse gets through every time.” Genius, that company knows how not to get sued. But the university? How do you think Vince Young beat them? He found the break in their defense.

12) Campbell College Fighting Camels: A humped animal known for traveling across the deserts of Africa and Asia. The camel is a hysterical animal. The origin of the name is somewhat obvious. Campbell is the last name of the founder and his friend made a joke about his name with the animal reference in 1900. Ergo Campbell Fighting Camels.

11) University of California Irvine Anteaters: Unless UCI is playing a university called the Ants or the Termites, they have no chance at winning. Anteater is not much higher up on the food chain than the “Daddy Long Legs spider.” Anteaters are commonly found in South and Central America, not Irvine, California.

10) University of Notre Dame Fighting Irish: Fighting Irish! Enough Said.
9) Akron Zips: Apparently Akron thinks Zip is a Kangaroo. No. A Zip is a curse-word used by Italians to mock Sicilians. A Sicilian would take offense to this nickname the same way that other races take offense to racial slurs. Imagine what would happen if other common racial slurs were used as nicknames, I do not think I need to use examples. Zips are actually short for Zippers, which were popular shoes back in the day. Their mascot is Zippy the Kangaroo. A very good mascot, but the university needs to reevaluate the use of the abbreviated nickname.

8) University of San Francisco Dons: Akron slanders the Italians, while San Francisco honors the Italians. A team of Vito Corleones. Now that’s a nickname.

7) University of Tennessee Chattanooga Moccasins (Mocs): A comfortable shoe made out of leather and fur. Imaginative, yet terrible. It is similar to the Zippers of Akron, but why a shoe. It is not even an athletic shoe, but a comfortable slipper. They might as well be called the slippers.

6) Haverford College Black Squirrels: Squirrels are the most annoying little creatures roaming around my campus. I have come into my dorm room multiple times to find squirrels flashing about the room, while I notice my full bag of sunflower seeds perfectly shelled and the trashcans turned over. I despise these little creatures. Haverford College, why would you name your school athletic teams after such an annoying creature? Its brilliant, you annoy your opponents to death, I like it.

5) Wesleyan College Battling Bishops: I hope they are referring to a chess reference. Otherwise I pray that my Bishop has not been battling anyone. Wesleyan decided; they would be too pretentious to name themselves Kings or Queens, the Knight was too commonly used, the rook could only move forwards and backwards and the pawn was pathetic. “Let’s go with the Bishop we can attack diagonally, sick!”

4) University of South Carolina GameCocks: Cockfighting, yes! When all of these animal rights groups are going after Michael Vick for dog fighting, and Pedro Martinez for attending a cockfight, the University of South Carolina boasts the heroines of the sport. The gamecocks are vicious and racy.

3) Wichita State Wheat Shockers (Shockers): I mean the shockers? Do I even have to say it? I love their Cinderella style in baseball and basketball. But I mean the shockers, just open the door for crude sexual slanders.

2) University of California Santa Cruz Banana Slugs: Funniest nickname by far. But I mean the banana slugs. They are just asking to be put on lists like this. UCSC, my list is the highest national rating you will receive in anything remotely dealing with athletics. It suits the hippy town down to the peg.

1) California State Long Beach Dirt Bags (49ers): “You are a dirt-bag.” A common term used by women when they are referring to men who have been disgusting sleaze-balls. The LBS baseball team is called the Dirt-bags. It originated from the team playing on an all-dirt infield back in the 1980s and the players would return from practice covered in dirt. Has anyone noticed that three-quarters of the players on the team actually look like dirt-bags? Congratulations on the number one position for being a team full of unpleasant, distasteful, repulsive individuals.

I recommend that both Georgia and Fresno State change their nicknames. My advice is:

Georgia Peaches: It is corny, but the girlieness and jokes that would follow would make the nickname quite worth it. It is better than the stupid bulldog.

Fresno State Hillbillies: Fresno is the center of Central California and is representative of all of the regions backwardness and farm country. At least they solve the crisis at hands. It took me thirty seconds to come up with better and more representative names than the bulldogs.