On a voyage through the formidable seas, the U.S.S. Charger comes across what appears to be a vessel looming in front of them. The captain, angry about the sizable presence of the craft ahead and its assuming position directly in front of his own ship, gets on the radio and yells for it to move out of the way.

“This is the U.S.S. Charger!”, he screams, “Yield, or we will ram you with all of our strength!”

But the voice on the other end of the radio calmly replies,
“Okay, this is a lighthouse, but good luck”.

So we enter the AFC Championship game, and having endured a week’s worth of yelling and taunting and threatening and sneering from the U.S.S. Charger, the Patriot lighthouse is ready to hold its position and let the ramming begin.

I feel like watching this game unfold may be kind of like watching the yappy little dog finally catch up with the car after chasing it for weeks and weeks. Okay, guys, you wanted the Pats? You got the Pats. Here you go.

Now what.

But just for one last little bit of speculation and prediction, here are 5 things to look for on Sunday.

1) Robbie from Medford jumping over the railing to beat Phillip Rivers to death after he tried to pull that ‘yell at drunken fans in the stands’ thing on the Pat’s faithful.

2) A Chris Chambers/ Randy Moss showdown. SD is no doubt dying for the opportunity to show off their new feature at wide receiver on the stage of the team that has entertained the most attention for their own receiving acquisition. Cheap and under the radar vs. spotlighted talent and pricy contracts. Who obtained the more critical weapon? Well, just be reminded that the success of a WR can only be manifested through the efficiency of the quarterback. And I don’t think that match-up warrants a comparison. Still, it could bring a little fun drama to the day.

3) Cromartie and Weddle shivering in the endzone and Rivers’ and Crew’s tongues frozen mid-taunt. I saw Tom Brady walking around downtown the other day in shorts. In New England. In January. Anyone who doesn’t think you adapt to cold weather needs to take a page from this book. What’s the average winter temperature in San Diego? 55? Get ready boys.

4) The number of close camera shots and Igor references we get from CBS. The comment framed the perfect filler for when Jim Nantz runs out of intelligent analysis (or pointless drivel, whatever). They’re going to beat this one into the ground. I’m going to go ahead and set the bar at seven. Anyone want to take the under on this?

5) The inevitable shot of Merriman chasing Jabar Gaffney from behind so we can hear Nantz say something like “Well, if he wasn’t sure how to spell his name before, he sure does now” right before a commercial break.

Well, I’m ready to get this over with. I’m tired of hearing whiny Pat’s fans call into sports radio, not yet able to shed their backbones of grief and disappointment from years past, and choking on every negative suggestion the media can muster together.

“They’re secondary wiped out the Colts!”
“The Pats defense is second-rate…”
“The wind won’t be good for Brady’s pass!”
“Randy will be distracted with these new allegations…”

Please. This is a team playing with three of their very key players at significantly less than 100%. A team we’ve already matched up against, and beaten. A team that is more concerned with talking trash than showing up to practice 3 days before the biggest game of their season.

And Brady is our lighthouse. The Pat’s have studied. They’ve trained. They’ve proven themselves. All that’s left to do now, is maintain their solid foundation and wait for the fuzz on the radio to fade away.